Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
