did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
