Swine flu. Run for my life!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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