Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
