dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
