so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
