was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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