How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
