Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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