I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
