Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
