the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
