She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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