whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
zippers are such a cool invention
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
