Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
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It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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