Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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