I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
