I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
