she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
