The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
