You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
