i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
