Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
