Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
