Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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