This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
