I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize