I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
