Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
