Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
