I seem to have left my pride at pride
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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