You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize