It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
