Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
there's paper in my vomit.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
