I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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