Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
