I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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