My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
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