She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize