my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
