yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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