P.S. I can't hear my feet
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
