I want to have your abortion
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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