she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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