Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
