I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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