Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
