Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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