That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
