Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She bit a glass in half.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
