Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
