im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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