So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
