their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
