What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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