he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
