so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
